It started off just fine and the way all great experiences should – with a little shopping. I bought myself a yoga outfit that was so cute with its soft grays and whites, cropped pants and being all spandexy it actually made me look pretty good. Alas, there are no shoes to buy for yoga but I decided not to let that minor fact influence my decision.
I arrived a bit early for the class, all fresh faced and feeling very zen-like, ready to embark on a physically rewarding endeavor with spiritual undertones. As the nubile instructor began the class I was actually quite pumped. She looked AMAZING! This could be me in just a few short weeks. I could already imagine my svelte, graceful figure gliding down the street with my head held high and perfect posture, turning heads at every corner.
And then the class began.
What planet do these yoga people come from that allows their bodies to bend that way? The way I see it is if God had wanted me to reach that far down he would have littered the ground with gluten-free donuts or diamonds or Jimmy Choo shoes.
My competitive juices kicked in as I eyed my gumby-like classmates. I twisted and turned and stretched. I threw my back out.
The sitar music started to wear on my last nerve but finally we were done, or so I thought. We spent the last 15 minutes laying on skinny little mats placed on the cold hard floor while the instructor suggested we empty our minds and relax. I carry a lot of stuff in my mind and the idea of letting any of it out of there, if even for an instance, stressed me out beyond belief. What if I forgot my ATM pin number or the password for twitter or where I parked my damn car? Worse yet what if by letting all the normal day to day things out of my mind it creates a vacuum allowing other, evil things to flood in. What if my amazing gluten-free coconut cupcake recipe got replaced with trying to figure out how to build a nuclear bomb? What if my to-do list was supplanted by a plot for world domination? What if I forgot I look terrible as a blond and bleached my hair?
Cute little soft gray-white outfit with cropped pants – $144.99
Yoga Class – $75.00
Chiropractic Treatment – $45.00
Negative 300 (from stress eating a hot fudge sundae after class)
Probability that yoga is my exercise calling:
I am however undaunted. The quest continues.
Next up – running.
Yoga – Simply Gluten Free
Add your email address to receive posts/recipes via email