Thanksgiving got in the way of my exercise quest except for the fact that my right arm is really buffed now from all the heavy lifting of the fork from the plate to my face. But in any case, it’s time to get back to it.
I was very excited to try running for two reasons. 1 – all the runners I know have almost no visible body fat and 2 – I am seriously up for anything that starts off with a trip to the shoe store.
Remember when we were kids and we just ran around all day with no thoughts as to what we had on our feet? We would just run and run and run; in sneakers, in loafers, in shiny patent leather mary janes, in flip-flops or even barefoot and we just thought that was perfectly ok? Well, boy were we stupid!
Apparently there is only slightly less technology involved in running shoes than there is in putting humans on Jupiter. Or so I was told by the 16 year old, acne-faced “running shoe expert” who convinced me that the cute, pink, sparkly shoes I wanted which happened to cost only $19.99 would twist my ankles, give me shin splints and probably lame me for life.
Once I had my shoes (and some special shoe inserts, a running timer, some socks and running shorts – that guy has a big future in used car sales someday!) the only decision left to make was where to run. There is a big running path a couple blocks from my house, a track at the high school and the beach. I choose the beach because I like the beach and let’s face it, I need all the help I can get to become addicted to some form of exercise.
It was a beautiful, sunny day; the waves were gently lapping on the shore, the birds chirping and I was pumped! Within a few short weeks I am going to have long leans legs, be svelte and sleek and maybe even slightly tanned.
As I learned from yoga it is best to start slowly. So I started at a gentle jog on the white powder sand. My new shoes began filling up with sand but no matter – here I was – running! I could just feel the calories melting away. I could also feel myself becoming more and more parched by the second. Fortunately there is a great little stand that sells the world’s best lemon aid right there on the beach. I stopped for a glass and then back on my way, running!
When I stopped for the fifth or sixth time to pour the sand from my shoes I struck up a conversation with the whitest people I have ever seen. They must have been from Minnesota because no one who actually lives in Florida would wear a bathing suit in 70 degree weather – we would freeze to death. We chatted for about half an hour, I told them all the best places to eat and shop and then I remembered my purpose – no time for chatting, I’m here to get fit! So off I ran.
I started to notice that all the other runners were passing me by as if I were standing still. “Easy girl” I told myself – this is not a competition!
Unfortunately I rarely listen to myself.
I started running faster and faster. Soon I was desperately trying to gulp in some air, by lungs were burning, my thighs and calves screaming and my sides felt as if they were being gripped by some gigantic, unseen monster. Surely I had been running for at least half an hour – OMG – how many calories I must have burned in half an hour. As soon as my vision returned, I looked at my new running timer. 29 seconds had elapsed. 29 seconds! Sweet was pouring down my face, every molecule in my body was screeching in agony and I had only been at this for 29 seconds?!
As luck would have it I happened to be right in front of my favorite beach-front eatery. They make really great nachos (guaranteed gluten free!) so I stopped in for a quick snack before returning to my new fitness program. Unfortunately it is even harder to run after devouring an enormous platter of cheese, sour cream and guacamole laden nachos than it is before. So I called it a day.
Running Shoes – $249.99
Special Shoe Inserts – $19.99
Running Timer – $149.99
Socks – $14.00
Running shorts – $35.50
Band Aids for blisters on my feet from new running shoes – $3.50
Negative 3,000 from the nachos and lemon aid
Probability that running is my exercise calling:
Not sure, maybe I need to find a more distraction free environment without restaurants. And maybe I should try walking before I can run.
Next up – Weight Lifting!
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