Now as an event planner, I should probably not ask this question but what the hell.
A big production for the wedding day is fine if you have the bank accounts of Donald Trump, Tom Cruise and Christina Aguilera but what usually happens is that my bride shows up with all these photos from “In Style Weddings” and the like where the flowers alone cost tens of thousands of dollars and when asked about her budget says something like “Oh, about $10,000.00 I guess…”. And how many guests? “ 200 maybe 250.” “And I want a sit-down dinner.” “And a martini bar.” “And sushi for hors ’d oeuvres.” “Oh, and wouldn’t fireworks be great?” Hmmm. I’m good but I’m not that good!
Even when money is not a big issue, I have to wonder is what is essentially a party worth the cost of a really nice car? Or a down payment on a house? I did a wedding not too long ago where the parents could have literally bought the couple a very nice 3 bedroom house for what they paid for the wedding. Quite frankly I would have taken a house, but maybe that’s just me.
It kills me when I see people going into debt to pay for their weddings. I have always thought it is the marriage that is important, not the wedding. And honestly, is that any way to start a life together? Up to your ears in debt?
I recall my own wedding. I was very young and had no one really to help plan it. My Dad had paid for my sister’s wedding only the year before and gave me a budget. He told me what I did not spend on the wedding he would give me in cash! So I was all about economy. My whole wedding cost less than my sister’s dress.
Now that I am an event planner I cringe ever so slightly at my own wedding. There are things I would have done differently certainly. But there is one thing I would never change.
The man I married!
I got married so long ago I can barely remember the specifics. I am no longer in touch with 75 percent of the people who attended. I cut up my wedding dress and used it as a costume in a play I was in. So really did the stress and anxiety matter so much? No.
The wedding was no celebrity wedding that is for sure, but neither has the marriage been and I mean that in the best way possible. Despite the odds my husband and I are still married after 31 years and are so much more in love than we were on the day we wed.
He is still the person who can coax a smile from me on my worst day. He is the first person I want to share the really great news with and the person I desperately need when the news is bad. He can make me madder than anyone one else on earth but God can that man make me laugh!
If you are planning a wedding anytime soon, let me pass on a few tips:
Set your budget realistically and stick to it!
Prioritize. I think the pictures are the most important. After all, that is the legacy. The cake gets eaten, the dress goes out of style, the flowers die but the pictures are what you will leave for the great-great grandchildren.
Simple is okay! It is a whole lot better to just have a great cake and some champagne than to try to feed 350 people if you can’t afford it. Whatever you do, just do that well.
Enjoy the process. The stress does no one any good and really, if you’re going to throw a party, you may as well have fun!
And lastly, for God’s sake – MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON!
Anyway, that’s my two cents for what it’s worth.
I’ll be back to gluten free food blogging soon, I promise. Just please let me live through this weekend!
Wedding Daze – Simply Gluten Free
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